PREVIEW TO MANNING VS. BRADY VIDEO

ELI MANNING:

My name is Eli Manning

What’cha you gonna do?

I already beat your ass in Superbowl 42

Remember that year?

Tell me again, who was boss?

Cuz you had 18 wins and ONE GIANT’S  LOSS

TOM BRADY:

You know what? Good game.

I handled it with class

but now I’m gonna shove a Lombardi trophy up your ass

Cuz I ain’t playin’ - you half-retarded drunk (pic)

You’re just a little-bitch brother of another Manning Punk

ELI MANNING:

Now this my party, and you can come with

but I don’t miss chip-shot field goals like Billy Cundiff

I throw touchdowns mother-fucker, cuz I’m fuckin’ great

But I’m sure Belichick has it on videotape

TOM BRADY:

You got one I got three

And I guess we will see 

Who’s the alpha dog when he’s playing QB

Cuz I’m Tom Brady, and here’s the deal

Your sister and your mother wanna fuck me, FOR REAL…

Tim Tebow VS. Tom Brady - The Epic Rap Battle

First off, we all know that Bret Favre is an egomaniac who texts pictures of his dong to chicks he can’t muster up the courage to talk to. We all know that. That being said, this record of his is pretty awesome - and he has been pretty amazing as a football player through the years - even if the last few have been an ESPN daily documentary of douchebaggery.

We all knew it would come to this - he’d have to finally play sucky to walk away from the game. That has happened, to the disappointment of Vikings fans, but regardless of this somewhat respectful post to Bret’s playing abilities, I celebrate the awesomeness of this picture because it is his off-field douchebaggery that, encapsulated in this snapshot so well, just may overshadow his tremendous legacy as a player:

I’ll give Ines Sainz this, she has an ass sculpted by the hand of God. But look, if NFL players treated you like an ass-struttin’ piece of ass in an NFL LOCKER ROOM, where they swear, walk around naked, shower and prepare to play professional football, then it’s probably with just cause. They’ll be professional if you’ll be professional. Dressing like this in that setting isn’t sending the message “I’m a professional” but rather, it’s saying “I’m dressing like this for attention because I want to further my career and any of you vendejos (she’s Mexican) who want to say some sexualized shit are gonna get sued while I get famous, okay?”

There’s no question she did this on purpose. The NFL has to play stupid because of fairness, wants to avoid sexism controversy, etc. But at the end of the day, if you want to be a professional reporter, wear a pant-suit, not fuck-me pumps in saran-wrap jeans.

Still, wow. That’s just… WOW.  I’m glad she’s famous now. ;)